Coping with singleness

May 25, 2018

Being single can be seen as a blessing or a curse. Being single is better than being in a bad relationship, but being in a healthy and supportive relationship is better than doing it alone. Like everything else, there are pros and cons to singleness. Their are numerous benefits to enjoy if you have the right attitude – a focus on keeping a positive outlook. Lift your head high, open your heart – you will go through this season without much difficulty. After all, you know very well that you are not the only single person in Canada.

Its all well and good for me to tell you this, but realistically, there will be lonely moments, times when you wish you had someone to share the burdens of life with. How do you get through these darker phases when you are single? The short answer is…Friends. Whatever the reasons may be: after a breakup, divorce, or just starting over, finding yourself facing the world on your own does not have to overwhelm you. My number one tip is surround yourself with friends. They can give you support socialising, broadening your friendship circles, and help take your mind off the past. Here are some more tips to get through this phase of your life shining and thriving:

Make the most of your time to grow

Being in a relationship can sometimes strip us of our identity. Now is therefore the time to find yourself once again and embark on a journey of self-discovery. We are not advising you to shave your head and move to Tibet to eat rice and meditate on a mountain. Just listen to your own internal dialogue, to all the conflicting voices and negativity. Listen to the noise of your brain and force yourself to face it. A breakup is a painful way to self analyse, take the opportunity to get to know yourself a little better and see if you can come out the other side a wiser and better person.

Try new things, set out to reach long held goals, go back to studying further, whatever it is, use this time to grow. Whether it is to hone on your natural abilities, develop your skills or learn something new, make the most of the opportunity you have – being single and not having to consider a partner.

Use every opportunity to love yourself

In your previous relationship, you might find that you gave a lot. In terms of your personal time, the decisions you made or did not make because of your partner at the time and other things (money, gifts, etc.), bottom line is that you fulfilled the role of the giver. While you might have also received, this does not diminish the fact that you invested a part of yourself for someone else’s needs and happiness. With your current new role as a single person, your heart will appreciate that you be kind to yourself. Treat yourself to a weekend away to the countryside, get a new haircut, invest in that motorbike or pair of boots you had your eyes on – treat yourself during this time. No one else will!

Increase your chances of meeting ‘The One’

At the same time, being single means you get to re-invent yourself. If you came out of a bad breakup or bitter divorce, you know that you deserve better and that you get another chance to have a more fulfilling relationship. Once you find yourself ready to date again, put yourself out there. Go to pubs, restaurants, say yes to most of the invitations that come your way through friends, family and even from your workplace. You never know where this could lead – your partner might be just around the corner or in the next social gathering you attend. Increase your chances by meeting someone with whom you want to do life with. You could try joining a group based on your hobby or interest, create a profile on a Canadian online dating site. It’s important to keep moving forward one step at a time, with a large smile on your face. Life will work itself out just fine whether you are single or alone.